“Eve I knew it was an act. What the fuck is up with you and this ‘Ylva’ routine?” He mockingly accented the “Yl” noise in the back of his throat.
“I basically was deported back to Europe after college because my student visa expired. I needed to hide my American accent once I got back here. Do you know how much shit I’ve gotten since the U.S. invaded Iraq about my American accent? No one cares that I’m Swedish. They just hear the accent and think American.”
“Understandable, I guess. But royalty?”
“I made that up after no label would sign me. They said I was too risky. So I invented, Ylva: Swedish Royalty, and gained some cache. My elevated stature got me into the upper-echelon circulation of Europe and then I met Lord Mumford, who launched my career. Now I have more albums sold in Europe than fucking Ace of Spades, but people still love to bring up the royal lineage. I play into the bitchy royal routine to keep the image up.”
“Are you sure it’s just an act?”
She sighed.
“I hope so,” she said. “It’s quite exhausting. Today I threw a tantrum then threw myself at your burly friend.”
“Wait. You threw yourself at Michael?”
“Of course. It is expected.”
“What have you gotten yourself into? What happened to the purple leather jacket, Doc Martens and the Teen Spirit?”
“Who the fuck are you to judge? What have you done?”
“What?”
“Yes Mr. plaid shirt, holier than though indie band wannabe.”
Gabe started to laugh— full-bodied laughter.
“Are you mocking me?” She yelled. “Stop laughing!”
Gabe continued to laugh.
“Stop laughing!”
“I’m Ylva,” he said imitating her in between deep spurts of laughter. “Would you like to join me and my Swedish Bikini team, Ya?”
“Asshole!” She shouted, lunging at him. He grabbed her arms and crisscrossed them around the front of her body, and spun her around so he had her in a bear hug.
“Let go of me,” she said, as she struggled.
“Do your Swedish accent for me again.”
“No fucking way!”
Then he pulled tighter and popped her in the nose with her right hand. Gabe felt the rage shudder through her body after he employed the classic bullying tactic. He did it again, then waited, and then did it again.
“Stop it!”
“Accent!”
